Should I Go Riding Off Into The Sunset On My Own Or With Someone Else?

You would be surprised how many people are in relationships purely because they are afraid to be alone, they aren’t happy, they don’t really want to be in a relationship with this person but they are so afraid to be alone they stick it out, waiting for someone better to come along and then they end the relationship. After all isn’t it better to be with someone than be on your own….depends if you really want to be happy and if you respect yourself.

There are always two basic choices for you to make every single day of your life and they are

1) do I stay on the path I am currently walking or
2) do I change paths.

That’s it simple isn’t it………the hard bit is when you come up with the answer I’m not sure.

If someone phones me asking if the relationship is the right one for them, I usually answer “Only you know the answer to that”, at this point the phone usually goes dead. However the ones who really want to find the answer will continue and I ask them

1) Why are you really in the relationship you are currently in?

2) Are you really happy in your current relationship and do you want it to continue?

3) If someone else came along who you liked would you end your relationship to pursue the other person?

4) Do you want the person you are currently with to change to suit you?

5) Do you really want what your current partner has to offer you and can you offer them what they want?

I will often ask my clients a question in answer to the question they ask me. The
reason I do this is to help them be really honest with themselves and therefore
find within themselves the answers they are seeking,

You see no matter how many times you are told something, until you understand what the real question you should be asking yourself is you won’t move forward because you won’t be getting the right answers.

Just because someone else comes along doesn’t mean you should go riding into the sunset with them, it simply could be a sign that you need to look at your current relationship with your eyes fully open and ask the right questions of yourself.

If you are in your current relationship for all the right reasons for you, and you are happy within that relationship, someone else coming into your radar won’t shake things up.

You see it’s not my place to tell you what to do, it’s my calling in life to lead you on the right route to finding certain answers within yourself, it’s my calling in life to look deep within you to see if you are holding the key to unlocking your life, or if you are simply trying to catch a red herring.


Blessings

You Are Not What You Do…. (Inspired by Eckhart Tolle)

Watching this weeks Oprah class the one thing that really stuck out for me was the thing about labels.

If you asked me who I was I would say I am a Psychic Counsellor, an Empowerment Coach, a mother, chief cook and bottle washer, a bit of a comedian, a girlfriend, a lover, but in truth these are what I do, they are roles I play, they are hats I wear, they are not me, they are not the essence of me, they are not what make me who I am. If I stopped doing these things I would still exist, all that would have happened would be that I had stopped playing a role, my outer existence would alter but my inner self would stay the same.

Or I may answer, happy, sad, tired, aching, but these are just feelings, states of mind these are not what I am, if I stopped feeling happy or sad or tired, I would still exist, I would exist without the feeling of happiness, sadness, etc.

A woman on the Oprah show asked how she could get over the fact she was having problems with getting old and losing her looks. She needs to learn no matter what the outside looks like, it’s the inside that makes us who we are. This is a great example of what happens when we put too much emphasis on our outward appearance and make that synonymous of who we are, when the outward appearance starts to fade we feel we are fading with it, instead of accepting it’s not us that is changing but just our appearance that is changing.

We are so used to being something and feeling something all the time that we are scared if the labels and the feelings go then surely we will be dead. But you are you when you are sleeping yet when you are sleeping you are not playing a role and you are not feeling, you are simply being. If only we could be awake when we are asleep we would understand what it feels like not to feel or play a role but just simply be.

Everyday find time to take off your hats, let go of the feelings and simply be.

Who and what am I……………I am me…………

Blessings.

If You Build On Shaky Foundations Things Will Fall Down

If the ground is unstable builders have to drive pylons deep into the ground to give a solid base for the foundations to be laid upon.

Then they build upwards layer by layer, in alignment with the foundations. Once the shell of the building is complete they then work on making it pretty and inviting. If the foundations are wrong, any layers added won’t line up properly, the building will start to show cracks and could eventually fall down.

If you are not secure and happy with yourself, if you are not living in alignment of what you want for you, then building a life on top of that will cause cracks to show.

If you are a shaky foundation the weight of any trials and tribulations will cause you to crumble and the whole thing will fall down around your ears.

You are the foundation stone that holds the rest of the life you build around yourself in alignment. Make sure before you start building upward the foundation stone is strong and solid.



Blessings.

Expect From Yourself…Anticipate From Others

So I’m sitting waiting for the phone call, expecting the phone call, and guess what it didn’t come. Why didn’t it come, I did what all the books tell you, and what I’ve learnt that if you expect something it will happen, I didn’t have any doubt it would come, so why didn’t it come.

Because I was expecting the phone call from someone else not myself, if I’d been expecting myself to make the phone call I would have made it, I could expect with surety that I would do it, however when you are expecting something from someone else you need to change the word expect to anticipate.

When you expect something and it doesn’t turn out the way you expect it to turnout, or it doesn’t happen at all, you will be disappointed and therefore you will end up expecting things not to happen, and then your focus will be in the wrong direction.

If you anticipate something or someone being a certain way, but expect that whatever way it turns out you will deal with it in a positive way then you will always focus in the right direction.

We are taught when asking anything of Spirit to expect it to be so. Yet we are also taught not to expect things from others. Confused.com or what.

It’s simple, Spirit will always do what’s best for everyone concerned, people only usually do what’s best for them which might not always be what’s best for you.

So remember.

Anticipate others will give you the opportunity to grow in a positive way, expect that you will grab that opportunity with both hands. If you do that every day in every situation you will always come out on the positive side.

I anticipate getting the phone call at some point, I expect I’ll just carry on with what I have to do until then.

Blessings.

Because the Calendar Says So!! – Trinity being controversial again!

No cards or flowers or chocolates for me this Valentine or any Valentine thank you very much.

Seriously if my man turned up on my doorstep on Valentines Day bearing flowers, chocolates and a card I’d ram them right where the sun is having trouble shining.

Why? I hear you gasp in horror, miserable old bat you say….well it’s like this

If he did turn up on Valentines Day bearing flowers, chocolates and a card I know he would be doing so because he thought I expected him to do it, and he would be scared I’d pull his scrotum up over his head if he didn’t, not because he really wanted to do it.

So before you go off on one because that special someone hasn’t turned up bearing gifts, or hasn’t arranged to take you out for a nice meal, just stop and think a minute, does it really mean all that much when they do it because it is expected of them, does it really mean that much to you just because it says on the calendar it’s the day of the year it SHOULD be done.

Or really, would you rather have that loving gesture come out of no-where and on a day that is special only because what makes it special is that an unexpected present was given or gesture was made.

I would rather have a hand picked half dead single flower given to me on the spur of the moment, than the whole flower shop on Valentines Day. Because then I know without a shadow of a doubt he was thinking of me, he wants to show me how much he cares, not scared that if he didn’t I’d go off on one because it was the day of the year to do it.

Look I’m as romantic as anything, but I have seen so many arguments and break-ups being caused because the Valentines day ritual hadn’t been observed it’s heart breaking, so think before you lose your head and possibly your man, is it really that important that he is romantic on a specific day of the year.

Or to put it another way, if he doesn’t do the present, card, flowers thing on Valentines Day you have a darn good excuse to take it out on his credit card a bit later on in the year.

I Will Always Be There

Potato or Pomme

Do you know that song “Lets call the whole thing off”. It’s about how two people see the same thing, call it the same thing but pronounce it differently.

I was singing it the other day and it got me thinking, how many times do we mis-interpret something because it is put a different way to the way we would put it.

How many times do we get upset or run around like a wailing banshee because someone isn’t acting exactly as we would in a given situation.

How many times do we stamp and scream and shout just because someone is being themselves an individual and not our clone.

How many arguments start because we call it a potato and someone called it a pomme de terre.

I tried an experiment with my daughter, we both sat on different ends of our garden wall, looking in the same direction, she described what she could see, I described what I could see.

We were both looking in exactly the same direction yet some things were hidden from my view but not from hers and the same for her.

Even when we changed places I still saw some things she hadn’t seen when she was sitting in her original place. Why? Simply because we were looking at the view through our own eyes and not each others.

This is what happens in life, I see things from one angle my partner sees them for a different angle, sometime we see exactly the same thing. It doesn’t mean we are not suited to each other, sometimes we change our view to coincide with each other, sometimes we don’t and we have learned to accept in some ways we are different, and this only enhances things. He likes some things I don’t, it doesn’t mean he shouldn’t do them at all but that he fits them in with things we do together, sometimes I do things I don’t particularly like, (within reason of course nothing kinky….although there was that one time when………) but I’ll do it because I know it will make him happy, and he does the same for me.

We recognize we are individuals and therefore some compromises have to be made, this doesn’t mean we give up our views it just means we shift slightly to accommodate each other.

A relationship is like two circles linked together, two wholes making another whole, and the bit that crosses over is where you see things in the same way, and as time goes on and you get to know each other more the bit that crosses over grows until you see more and more things the same way.